Forever and Always
by GoddessArtemis1999
Summary: "Spence, we're not all saints. We've all got dark sides. And I love yours. Your flaws and your strengths. They make us who we are. And even though we ourselves may not love them, there is always going to be someone who does. I love you Spencer. I love every part of you. And I always will." What should have happened in 4x21. Spencer calls Toby instead of taking the A pills.


**Forever and Always**

**Prompt from my friend who realized how much I needed to write: Do a one-shot from 4x21 where Spencer doesn't find the pills in her locker, but somewhere else and then calls Toby. **

-xx-

Spencer groaned as she threw her bag on the floor. School had just finished and she was so tired and hungry. She felt like if she tried doing her homework now her brain was going to explode. She just wanted to sleep. Just as she closed her eyes, her door opened.

"Spencer?" It was her mom. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"

Spencer almost laughed. It was just like her parents to never care about her, and as soon as she did something that would ruin the family name, they acted like they cared. Like good parents. But they weren't! Didn't they know that if they were at home more often, then they could have prevented this?

"Go away Mom. I don't need any of your fake sympathy."

"Spencer!"

"No, mom, I'm tired of this. You always act like you care, but you don't! You never even believe me!"

"What are you talking about? I always believe you, you're my daughter!" Veronica exclaimed.

"Seriously mom? Don't you remember last year, when I told you that Ian tried to push me off of the bell tower? You didn't believe me. It was all about keeping Melissa happy. You called me a _complication_, mom. Do you know what that feels like?"

Veronica pursed her lips. She stared at Spencer for a moment, then silently got up from the chair she was sitting on and walked out of the room.

Spencer fell back into her pillow with a groan. She was just so tired…

"Spencer." It wasn't her mom because this voice was much deeper. It was her dad.

"What, dad? I'm tired."

"Your mother just came downstairs and said that you yelled at her. We really think you need help. Professional help."

"Dad…" Spencer pleaded. "Why do you think I'm even acting like this? Irritability is a withdrawal symptom. Do you think I would be acting like this if I was still taking it?"

Peter sighed. "Ok. I guess I'll believe you, for now." He turned to make his way out. "By the way, your mother and I are going to visit Melissa in London. Our flight leaves in three hours so we are going to leave now. We'll call and check up." And then he was gone.

Spencer wanted to laugh. They were leaving her now? Whatever. She collapsed on her bed as she started to feel dizzy. Great. Another withdrawal symptom to getting off of the drugs. After giving the last of her pills to Hanna, she had felt like complete crap. She shakily reached around in her bag for her phone, to call one of the girls. Her hand hit something cylinder-shaped, and it was very noisy. What was it…?

Spencer's breath caught in her throat as she pulled the object out. It was a full bottle of pills. It was prescribed to her. A note was printed on it in red, capital letters.

_Don't say I never gave you anything. –A_

How would A know exactly when she needed one? She didn't care. All Spencer knew that she was shivering too much now for it to be ok, so she opened the pill bottle and put one in her hand. After this, she would stop. Well… if this was going to be her last time then she could just take two. Let's make it three for good measure. No harm done, right?

'_And after this_, Spencer promised herself_, I will stop.'_

Her breathing suddenly became shallower. She needed them now. Spencer looked around her room, as if her parents were going to come popping out of the walls and reprimand her, then haul her away to some rehab place in Philly. She heard the door downstairs close and the car pull out of the driveway.

She took her glass of water from the night table next to her and got ready. She lifted the pills to her mouth and was about to take them when she thought of Toby.

"_Promise me you will call me if you get the urge to take the pills again."_

She quickly put the pills back in the box and stuffed them into her drawer. She grabbed her phone and, with shaky fingers, called Toby.

"Hello?"

"Toby? Can- can you please come over?"

"I'll be right there."

After about one minute of waiting, she started fidgeting. When would he get here? What was taking him so long? She thought he would never leave her again. Anxiety, she tried to tell herself. Anxiety is another side effect. She started breathing more heavily. She sat up on her bed and put her head in her hands. She needed it to stop. Was it ever going to stop?

-xx-

When Toby got the call from Spencer, he automatically knew something was wrong. For her to call him for help… that definitely wasn't a good sign. He got to the Hastings house in 5 minutes, a record for him. He noticed that there were no cars in the driveway. Where were her parents? Shouldn't they be helping her? He shook it off and opened the door. It was unlocked, as always. Toby had always told Spencer to lock the doors. It's not like she, or her family, ever did, though.

He ran up the stairs, and over to Spencer's room. He saw her, on the bed, rocking herself back and forth. He ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Toby," she cried.

"I'm here baby, I'm here. Don't worry. We'll be ok," he whispered.

"I need… I need, please," she begged.

"You don't, Spence, you don't," he quietly said. "We'll get through this, don't worry, it's ok."

"I need… -A knows I need…"

"What? What are you talking about?" Toby asked, concern all over his face.

Spencer pointed a shaky finger towards her drawer. Toby leaned over, opened the drawer, and saw the pill bottle.

"Don't say I never gave you anything. –A," he read aloud. "Spence, when did you get this?"

"I- I don't know. I was looking for m-my phone in my bag and I found them. I g-gave them all to Hanna, I-I swear."

"Spence, did you take any?"

She shook her head no. "I-I was going t-to, b-but you told me t-to call you," she was shivering, her body completely shaking.

"How about I throw them out for you and get you some fresh water?"

Spencer nodded. "Ok."

Before Toby did that, however, he pulled back the covers of Spencer's bed and slid her under. She brought the covers up over her face, trying to control her shaking.

He walked downstairs and quickly got a glass of water. He put the pills in his jacket, which he left over the chair, to dispose of them when he got back to his loft. And maybe – just maybe –A had slipped up and called the pharmacy and gave his/her real name. It was a long shot, but it was possible.

He walked back upstairs and, before he went into Spencer's room, got a big, fluffy blanket. He went back inside Spencer's room and whispered, "Spence?"

She peeked up from above the blanket. He hadn't gotten a good look at her before, and well, she looked horrible. There were big black circles under her eyes, clearly from a lack of sleep, and her eyes were bloodshot from crying. Her hair was tangled.

"Do you want water now or later?"

"Later," she whispered, her voice hoarse.

"Oh, Spencer," he whispered, slipping under the covers with her and laying the blanket on top of the covers to provide additional warmth.

She grabbed onto him and snuggled into him, craving his warmth. He put his arms around her, holding her tightly.

"Please don't leave me," she whispered.

"Never," Toby responded.

After hearing this, Spencer closed her eyes and fell asleep.

-xx-

When Spencer woke up, it was dark outside and Toby was still lying next to her, absentmindedly running his fingers through her hair.

When he noticed she was awake, he pressed a light kiss to her forehead and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Like crap," Spencer responded. "My head hurts, and I feel like someone stuck me in Antarctica with a tank top and shorts."

Toby smirked a little, even though there was nothing funny about the situation. It was just the way she phrased it that made him laugh.

"Is there any water?" Spencer asked with a slight cough.

Toby reached over and grabbed the water glass. He gently placed it to Spencer's lips and tipped it slightly. He knew her hands were too shaky to hold it herself. When she was finished, he reached over and put the glass back on the table and wrapped his arms around her again.

"I love you," Spencer whispered.

Toby kissed her temple. "I love you too, sweetheart."

"Why do you still stick around with me?"

"What?" Toby asked in surprise.

"Why are you still with me?" Spencer asked again.

Toby was speechless. He didn't know what had come over her, or how he could help her, so he gave her an honest answer. "Because I love you."

Spencer gave a mirthless laugh. "How? How can you possibly still love me? I was in a mental hospital a few months ago. I'm never going to get into a good college. A is still around stalking me. I'm an addict. This is my second time falling into this addiction. How could you possibly still love someone like me?"

Toby understood now. She thought he was too good for her. If anything, it was the other way around. Toby wasn't exactly a saint. He had done some pretty horrible things while he was on the A Team, and even though the majority of the time he was protecting he girls, there were still some times that he would take back if he could.

"Spence," he started out, lovingly, "we're not all saints. We've all got dark sides. And I love yours. Your flaws and your strengths. They make us who we are. And even though we ourselves may not love them, there is always going to be someone who does. I love you Spencer. I love every part of you. And I always will."

Spencer wiped her eyes. "God, Toby, where did you get that from?" her voice was a little amused now. "You sound straight out of a sappy love movie."

Toby snorted at that, unable to keep it in.

"But I love you too. Forever and always."

"Forever and always," Toby promised, pulling her in and lightly kissing her.

**Well there is my story. I literally wrote this in one day and I hope you guys like it! **

**Please review, I love hearing what you like and what I could do to improve my writing. **

**Oh and I know Spencer seems out of character in the beginning, but I feel like if she was going through withdrawals she wouldn't put up with anyone's crap, not even her parents. **

**Now, I know I should be working on The Switch, but I lost inspiration. I need to try to get it back before I give you guys a sucky chapter, which I could actually do right away. I have a very, very rough draft and it's probably going to be a filler chapter, but hopefully I could get more drama in it later. **

**Anyway, Happy Reading!**

**~A**


End file.
